There's a power within me
there's an empire down below
where energy and miracles
are free and often flow

So come on everyody now

men, women, young and old
I can feel your pain
if you touch my pants

My pants love you,
my pants need you,
my pants want you in the middle of the night

c'mon everybody now want my pants
c'mon everybody now love my pants
c'mon everybody now touch my pants
c'mon everybody now lick my pants

My pants, they're a miracle
You know their strength
You know what they feel
when I move they do a dance,
everybody loves my funky pants
London, England, Paris, France,
c'mon down for a little romance
Everybody take a chance

C'mon on down and touch my pants

Everybody, Everybody....
(touch my pants)

MC Combusta rockin the house with the microphone
He's gonna tell you a little bit about where he's from

I'm a sausage, I'm a sausage
I'm a spicy European sausage, baby

How ya doin' y'all,
are you really getting funky now?
are you ready to get funky in the middle of the night, c'mon

Let me hear you say "yo"
Let me hear you say "yoyo"
Let me hear you say.... (chanted gibberish)

Take a chance with my pants
Unzip my pants
Pants, pants (repeat)

Pants are like Jesus
they can cure all known diseases
they get stained when you dip them in cheeses
they get cold in the breezes
you're an ocean, they're in season
you're a cat, they get fleases
my pants they always pleases

Well, my mother was a mule
and my father was a squirrel
my sister's a boy,
and I am a girl

Circus Freaks (repeat 1)
Yeah!
Circus Freaks (repeat 1)

My mother was a bearded women
and my father was a bearded man,
he never made much money.

Circus Freaks (repeat 1)
Yeah!
Circus Freaks (repeat 1)

My wife is a lobster,
and my daughter is a snail
I melted butter,
and they got scared

Somethin' strange is a'happenin' here
My baby's actin' mighty queer
I picked her up to go to the show
We sat back in the very last row
I went out to buy some coke
And when I got back my courage broke
She was chewin' the seats and her mouth was foamin'
And her hair was in desperate need of a combin'

I think that maybe
My baby's got rabies
Maybe I'm crazy
But maybe my baby's got rabies now

Gotta get me my rifle
Get me my gun
It shore ain't pretty but its gotta be done
She's my baby and I love her so
But she's pulled an Old Yeller and she's got to go

Maybe my baby's got rabies
She's got spring fever and she's out of her head
Maybe my baby's got rabies
And we're gonna have to shoot her out behind the shed

He lives down by the furnace
Janitor, Janitor
And he makes the young kids nervous
Janitor, Janitor
He tells everybody to call him Tony
But he smells like oil, and his ass is bony
Janitor, Janitor

He's got a lot of charms
Janitor, Janitor
Like the prison tattoos on his arms
Janitor, Janitor
He cleans the bathroom and tells dirty jokes
He dresses like a woman and rolls his own smokes
He's the Janitor, Janitor
He's the Janitor, Janitor

Hey there Neil, how ya doin'

Hey, not too bad.

Hey, I guess I saw you talkin' to the janitor this morning

Well, strange thing...I went in early, eh, to practice my volleyball spike in the gym and he was buffin' the floor with that electronic, buffomatic floor waxing thing he's got, eh? And so I was trying to spike, eh, and he was tryin' to buff all around me as I was tryin' to spike, and I said, "Hey pal, I'm tryin' to concentrate, Mr. Janitor, and I wanna work on my spike." And he said, "Oh yeah?" And he dressed up like Kate Smith and touched himself on the leg with a big wooden spoon and then he waxed me so hard I felt the hairs givin' way on myself, and then I make a little kind of oven mitt with what I could put back together.

How's your spike now?

Brilliant!

I guess it would be.

Hey Neils! Neil! Neils! Neils! Neil alert!

I was talkin' to the Janitor this mornin' too, ya know.

Ohhhh..

Yeah, he took me down, he took me down behind the furnace

Oh really?

And he showed me that sausage collection that he's got.

I heard he only has one.

Yeah, but it's real pretty.

I'll buy you an electric car
So we can go out and look at the stars some time
I'll adopt a Third World family
And we can send them letters at Christmas time

I'll give up meat

Give up meat?

Are you crazy?

Maybe not, but I won't eat it in front of you
We can hire a van
A propane van
And let all the animals out of the zoo

Environment Girl
Let's live in a land of windmills
Environment Girl
You give me a whirl

I'll buy you a needle and thread
And fly you high, so you can sew up the ozone layer
When we're old and I've gone bald
We'll hit the town in my new recycled hair
My new recycled hair
No CFCs!

He lived by the sea
The Dolphin Boy
And he loved the dolphins that swam so free
The Dolphin Boy
He was at one with the ocean
The dolphins he loved with devotion
And he could not hide his emotion
The Dolphin Boy

So he abandoned the land up above
The Dolphin Boy
So he could be with the mammals he loved
The Dolphin Boy
He was fulfilled in heart and mind
He was at one with all dolphin kind
And he knew God's greater design
Yes!
The Dolphin Boy

I bought a pair of pants
At the corner store
They were size fourty-one
I'm size thirty-four
So I took them to a tailor
And I tried them on
And he took them in
And I took them home
Now they felt just fine
Until I read this tag
On the inside leg
And it chilled my spine

They were the pants that Curly died in
They were the pants he could not hide in
And they had a button fly
And they poked me in the eye

Whadja do that for?

And it was my defeat
When I wore them on the street
'Cause I would go

Whoop (repeat 4 times)

And I would go

I'm a victim of circumstance!

And I would say

Hey Moe! Hey Larry! Free eats!

For my pants I've paid!
And my pants went:

I keep tryina think but nothin' happens!

And my pants went:

Ahra- hra -hra -hra

And my pants went:

I belong to the church of the well-endowed man
My member's big as a grizzly bear's head
My pants can't hide the bulge God gave to me

I'm proud of the width and the length of my part
You should see me break the young girls' hearts
I always draw a crowd when I take a pee

Well I don't mean to brag but my main piece drags
And when I got to bed the mattress sags
It's hard to doze when you're long as a firehose
Oh lemmee tell ya...

We belong to the church of the well-endowed man
If you measured us in feet we'd be over ten
Thank you Lord for making us well-endowed men

Christmas dreams
And drunken alibies to you
I can't believe
I danced with naked with the turkey
I got stuffing everywhere
I didn't mean to throw up in the children's hair
And I'm sorry I shot your dog
But at the time my mind was in a fog

I went and poured the punch
Then I had a cup of rosy wine
Guess I had a drop to much
'Cause when I woke up I was dizzy and blind
Wish I hadn't burned your house to the ground
But the Christmas season always gets me down
So darlin' if you're free in the new year
Maybe we could go out for a beer

We need 30 million sandwiches and 60 million cokes
We're gonna have a party with those crazy Third World folks
We're gonna have an egg toss and play some hide and seek
And have a scavenger hunt for a wholesome hunk of meat

At the Third World Picnic Party
At the Third World Picnic Party
Everybody party hardy
At the Third World Picnic Party

We'll invite Nelson and Winnie Mandela
As long as they bring their beach umbrella

The pie eating contest was such a disgrace
The military warlords were all stuffin' their face
So we ate lots of hamburgers and drank lemonade
And mounted a three-legged missile raid

At the Third World Picnic Party
At the Third World Picnic Party
Everybody party hardy
Its a Third World Picnic Party

There's no lineup for the salad bar
'Cause it's being guarded by an armoured car

Angola
Uganda
Zambia
Namibia
Nigeria
Rwanda
Rhodesia - sorry, Zimbabwe
Somalia
Ethiopia
Guatemala
Scotland

It's the Third World Picnic Party

Chile

She doesn't like it when I smoke
Or give the fire a friendly stoke
And when the sun is burning down
We sit in the shade

She says she looks like Frankenstein
I tell her that she looks just fine
It always gives her peace of mind
When I say these words to her

He was little but we loved him
He was small but he was swell
He was tiny, how he teased me
Guess he knew how to ring my bell

He was my midget love slave
He was a horny little half-pint
With lovin' for sale
He was my midget love slave
His name was Andrew, but I called him Gayle

The first time that I saw him
Was in a porno production of the Seven Dwarfs
He played a dwarf named Sleazy
One look at his beard and I wanted to score

He was my midget love slave
He was a horny little half-pint
With lovin' for sale
He was my midget love slave
He was a hot little munchkin who could make me wail

We were happy together
Making hot love with never a pause
Then one day he left me
For the Lollipop Triplets in the Wizard of Oz

He was my midget love slave
He was a Hot Squat Hombre
With love on his mind
He was my midget love slave
But size don't matter when the lovin' is fine
Size don't matter
Size don't matter
Size don't matter when the lovin' is fine
Size don't matter
Size don't matter
Size don't matter when the lovin' is fine

Hey!
Hey you know here I am
I'm here now
Here I am, I'm standing
I'm right here
Here I am, on my legs
I'm standing, standing here
Under me there is a place
And I'm standing on it
Here I am
And I'll be here forever
Unless I move over here

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there<> There I was just a minute ago
But I'm not there now, no
I'm here, here again
But a different here
An eternal here, and eternal now
And I'm walking, I'm moving
I see you
My eyes are looking
I know you're there
Because at the end of my look you're there
I have eyes in my head
And I love you
When I look at you, you sometimes see me
If you're looking at me
And if you're not looking, then you don't
But I love you, I love you

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there

I love you
I'm all alone
I'm here in my house alone
And I think of you
Lying in my bed
I look over out of the window
I see your face
And I'm frightened
'Cause I live on the eighth floor
You must be really, really tall
You scare me

Remember how we dreamed
Remember how we screamed
The vegetables were steamed
The people that we seemed to know there